"I want you, I need you, I can't have you but I need to.
I miss you, when I shouldn't but I do and you couldn't.
I love you, I know it but I won't because you don't."
Okay so apparently it's healthy to express your
feelings, emotions, etc. This is my blog after all
and I should be typing away my emotional baggage
and posting it to the world for some sort of inner
self relief, so here goes.
It's proven, some of us are diagnosed with a
serious case of indecisiveness and I am just
another one if it's patients.
I think it's evident to say that a single day
doesn't go by where we don't make millions of
decisions. Think about it, your alarm goes off
in the morning and you rapidly decide whether or
not jump out of bed or to press snooze and continue
to lay there with your face in the pillow. These
types of decisions we make without evening
noticing, we choose what we prefer in a less than
a second. However there are things that take more
than seconds to decide on. For instance, "What
should I wear to the that party?" Even things like
skipping school, buying a tee, throwing out cards
or calling up someone. These things may take a
little more time to decide on but in the end we
are still able easily choose an option and stick
by it.
But what if there are things we can't actually
decide on? There are times when we have no idea
how to come to a conclusion and as for me I'm stuck
in these situations way to often. I feel the need
to casually walk into my kitchen grab the nearest
pot and bang some sense into my head but
unfortunately I know that even if I tried this I
would lay there seeing stars left with nothing but
an ugly lump on my head. Although I do wish it was
as simple as pouring the answers into my brain,
like Hogwarts and it's magical spells. Imagine if
'Decision-o-rama' was actually some sort of potion
where it would give me the power to choose X over
Y in a flash. That would honestly make my life a
hell lot easier. But that isn't the case.
There are way to many facts to take into
consideration while making a decision and usually
they involve other people. For example: What are
they feeling, What are they thinking, What do they
want, Who am I affecting, Is it beneficial for me
and them, Is the timing right, How long will it
last, Will it be worth it, Is it right or wrong?
You see now it's not just about me and my wants
anymore it's taken to a whole notha level.
But seriously, I don't even think it's
mentally possible to satisfy that many questions
with the right answer. If you can then you are a
genius who has unlocked the key to a perfect
decision with no regrets. Yet I lack this ability
and I'm filled with a fear. Powerless, stuck,
glued and unsure of what to do. If I carry on
like this I'll definitely provide myself or
somebody with some sort of psychological effect.
So snap! It is time I get given these skills, I
want them, I need them now. Fix my head & heart
filled with countless emotions that are
waiting to be answered.